As I was getting coffee for myself the other day at a
popular cafe, I caught myself looking at the young woman serving me. Her
clothes were fashionably torn, tattoos galore and sporting various arrays of
piercing. Her fashion statement and mine were worlds apart and I found myself
passing judgment. Instinctively, (being mindfully aware) I disliked that
thought. I was ashamed of myself. Then there came the knee-jerk reaction,
something inside me shouting, “How dare you pass judgment, you don’t even know
her!” It was that inner-voice, deep inside—the one that’s usually errr… always
right.
I quieted and went through the process of asking myself,
“Why did this come up for me? Where did it start? How long ago?” Memories
flooded forward. How many times in my elementary and high school years was I
witness to the fashion police and received a verbal summons if the attire was
not in vogue. Those were impressionable years. Confidence and I were still
getting to know each other. So speaking my mind and standing up for another/myself
was a Herculean feat. All too often I found myself going along with the group.
It was not... until I entered a relationship (got lawfully
engaged) that things began to change. I noticed even though some things made me
uncomfortable in the beginning, I began to understand the other perspective. I have
begun to learn to let go stuff that doesn’t probably fit in my scheme
of things but are an imperative part of his world. I was not going to
curb his self expression even though
it may muffle my voice for a moment.
I took another look at the young woman serving me. She had a
tattoo on her wrist, I had a beautiful henna design adorning my hands. She had piercings all over her face—while I
was flaunting huge antique traditional earrings in my ears. How different were
we really? We were both expressing our taste.
She handed me my coffee and off I went. I hoped to see her
again. She taught me to pause, reprocess, breathe open my eyes and not be quick
to judge. She was just another version of my inner voice, wasn’t’ she?.
So when you look at someone and find yourself passing
judgment pause and introspect…..
See if you can step back from being the fashion/ moral/
judgemetal police and realize we are all different. If Unity is strength, Diversity
is empowerment. Look out for the positive characteristics this person
exhibits. Were they polite, kind, friendly, did they make eye contact? What was
it? There is always something wonderful in every person! How
very boring this world would be if we all were baked in the same oven, with
same ingredients and at the same temperature. J
Just a thought…..
